Saturday, September 27, 2008

The Man from Craigslist

Reply to: hous-42346111340733@craigslist.org

Date: 1934

Beautiful flat for sale. Generic but roomy. Money hidden in briefcase, a few English touches. In winter one must wipe the windows clean to see out of them. Decorate it as you will. Call and ask for Georges.
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 13473234512


Dear M. Simenon,

The flat has worked out very well. I have taken to heart your blessing to treat the flat as I wish. You have left me a simple set of rules, a list of things done and not done, and a gripping progression for every minute that I have been there. (Though, at times, when I relate it to my friends, I admit they sometimes find it obscure.) Some of my dear ones have come to live with me in this flat, and I have had a fine tall Englishwoman in with me too. Once or twice I have found it necessary to play the Hungarian drinking games of old: interminable balancing acts set, deadpan, to music. It has been much fun. Your flat, though simple, allows me to roam all over. In fact, sometimes, I think that I have experienced your flat in a way quite different from how you experienced it or intended others to experience it. But it is my way and you seem liberal enough about the prospects. I have broken down a few walls and ignored a few of the main hallways for my purposes. But one walks free and heavy here and I like it.

Yours,
Béla


5 comments:

jmac said...

Hot! :)

Ignatiy Vishnevetsky said...

Reply to: hous-42346111340733@craigslist.org

Date: 1932

Garage for rent outside of Paris. Prime location near a crossroads. Danish neighbors.

• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 13473234512

Dear M. Simenon,

I write to you with the intention of terminating my lease. I’ve found that I regret renting this garage, though many of my friends tell me that it’s one of the best garages they’ve ever seen. Nonetheless, the persistent rain and fog create unsafe driving conditions for me and my brother, especially combined with the locals’ tendency to drive recklessly. And the garage, though isolated, is a little too close to gang activities for my taste. The Danish neighbors were pleasant at first, but they were not who they seemed. Though I must admit there is a certain beauty to this danger and an intangible mystery to this part of the countryside, I must say that, for now, my passions lie with the city.

You appear to be a good man and even if we shan’t do business again, at least we can remain friends.

Yours,
Jean

Anonymous said...

This is either one of the oddest movie reviews (or inventory?) I have ever read, or something else.

Well done... whatever it is you did.

ZC said...

Ignatiy, you've upstaged me! (I've not yet seen La Nuit du carrefour, unfortunately ...)

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